The Downside of D.I.Y

29 Sep

Mr Monster and I are now less than a week away from our wedding. When we first got engaged, we knew that we didn’t want a traditional wedding with all its formality and expectation. We wanted something to reflect us, our spirit, and our creativity.

We set about planning a D.I.Y wedding complete with handmade felt flowers and buttonholes, a largely homemade dress, and musical entertainment from Mr Monster himself. What I didn’t anticipate amongst all this was the pressure I would feel to create something spectacular not just for us but for all involved. I’m pleased with the way things are turning out but I am cranky, stressed, and generally unpleasant to be around. Why anyone would want to marry me just now is beyond me.

Is this the same for all brides? Is this just me? Am I putting too much pressure on myself? Who knows, all I do know is that it seems to me that planning a wedding is a test to see if at the end of it all, you still want to be together after heated debates about invitation fonts, shoe colours and various other insignificant details.

Bilbo Baggins said it best when he described himself as feeling like ‘butter spread over too much bread’. I feel drained from the stress of keeping all the organisational plates spinning in these final few weeks and can’t wait for the day to arrive so as I can relax and enjoy the fruits of our labours. In five days I’m having my nails done (which I never normally do), and that is the moment when I can legitimately stop sewing like a madwoman so as not to ruin them, and enjoy the last few days of my single life. Once the gels are on, I will be doing nothing more taxing than drinking bubbly and opening the odd wedding card which drops onto our doormat until the moment I say I do. Hopefully I will become my usual self again instead of this crazed Bridezilla which I never wanted to be. It seems to me that for most brides, as relaxed as you want to be about your nuptials, a bit of stress is inevitable.  I just hope that on the day itself I can rise above my worries and take it all in.


5 Responses to “The Downside of D.I.Y”

  1. Patch September 29, 2012 at 10:43 pm #

    Sounds pretty normal to me. Be sure to organise (or get someone else to organise it) something nice to keep you entertained on the day after your wedding. The day after all the excitement can be such a downer. It can be pretty low key and chilled out, just a little something to look forward to.

    • mistressofmonsters September 30, 2012 at 7:29 am #

      Good plan, as luck would have it we are off to the zoo and the circus the next day. That ought to do it! x

      • Patch September 30, 2012 at 8:41 am #

        That sounds excellent. No doubt you will be a bit worn out too so lots of tea/coffee and cake along the way too. Hope you have a wonderful time. So exciting!

  2. scillagrace October 1, 2012 at 12:14 pm #

    Stress, anticipation, hype, expectations…all the emphasis on a future event distracts you from the present moment, which is the only “real” moment anyway. “Why anyone would want to marry you just now,” is a great reminder that your relationship with Mr. Monster is really about all the “just nows” that you will experience together. Looking into each other’s eyes, feeling his breath raise his chest, listening to the thud of his heart, watching a smile spread across his face, all of the ways that you are attentive to the immediate moment will keep you grounded and perhaps make you feel less cranky!


  1. Good Advice « Mistress of Monsters - October 1, 2012

    […] from thousands of miles away, from a person I have never met. A comment was left on my post about wedding stress by a lady in Wisconsin, America who has followed my blog for sometime now and often leaves little […]

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